Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a regular feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of existing as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.

Swam through, grew gills, sang songs into darkness
witnessed flowers of all sorts
all before breakfast, all wrapped up in dawn

Last night I cherished the sight
of her sleeping peacefully on her back,
purple pony under her arm,
hands folded.

Out my window now — vast.  Sky is blue, finally — two weeks of heavy mist, rain, snow — like an incubator.  Me in the bardo — left home, time in Boulder running the conference, enjoying time at Marpa House.  Saw Lady Konchuk — got dizzy, nauseous, had to get up from sadhana practice to shit.  Put-put with the crew — Beyond Mindfulness.  Good.  10 hour days of work, hysterical team chemistry.  We reached 28,000 people from 135 countries.  Brought in a bunch of money for SMC.  Good.

Got home, got sick.  Crashed the new car into a tree.

Moved all belongings into palatial upstairs Manjushri — new nest.  Nubble Nest 3.0. Oh — good!  So good.  Fresh.  This morning, feeling my grasping at it.  Possessive.  It’s fleeting.

House and a car.

This is new phase of human-life-education.  Householder.  Living in society, in a house.  Relating to community from here, my seat.  Jeremy lives downstairs — good.  My new homie — dharma, poetry, life.

I had a heartful farewell with Avalokiteshvara — yurt.  Juniper smoke, song, prayer, thanks.

Here I am now.  How… SMC magic unfolding.  Learning how to live life.  I practiced at my home shrine this morning.  Now, writing from my desk, just beside the shrine, sitting on zafu still, desk is low, sipping tea from my new tea pot — beautiful, high quality, fragile — like all of this.

Next week, back into retreat — three weeks.  Now, settling into the new situation, the new phase.  Considering folks in Nepal, considering mother in Florida, the flooded folks in Texas.  These are the pebbles in my shoe.  Remember.  No God Realm vacation.

Vidyadhara said something like: “King without a broken heart is a paper tiger.”

— May 26, 2015

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Travis Newbill is a writer, musician, and aspirant on the path of meditation.  He currently resides at Shambhala Mountain Center, where he serves in the roles of Marketing Associate and Shambhala Guide — a preliminary teaching position.  Follow Travis on twitter: @travisnewbill