Queer Dharma: The Truth of Being Queer

Posted on January 21, 2014 by admin

Acharya Eve Rosenthal

By Eve Rosenthal

Acharya Eve Rosenthal will be leading Shambhala Queer Dharma Retreat, along with Acharya Eric Spiegel, March 28-30

What is queer dharma? There are people who are queer and there is dharma, but what is queer dharma? First of all, a person who is queer identifies as someone with a sexual orientation outside culturally established norms. In our culture, it is someone who is not heterosexual — a person who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. It is someone who does not want to put a label to their sexuality, or someone who is questioning their sexual identity. Dharma in its broadest context means truth or what is, and can also mean the Buddhist teachings—which is saying the same thing. The Buddha experienced the truth of reality and then talked about it. These are the Buddhist teachings that have been written and passed down orally. The path of meditation is the way to gently make the journey from self-deception to truth.

So, queer dharma is the truth of being queer. Everyone who is queer realizes at some point in their life’s journey that they have feelings for others, or about themselves, that are outside what is easily accepted in our society. At best, it results in some serious soul searching to come to terms with who one really is, and at worst, imprisonment or death. There are probably not many queer folk planning to vacation in Uganda, Nigeria, or Russia any time soon. Even in relatively tame countries like Canada that have accepted same-sex marriage, there are still unthinkable hate crimes against sexual minorities. Even if we live in a relatively accepting world, there are privileges of heterosexuality that are taken for granted and not available to all. Here is a great web page about heterosexual privilege, homophobia and its impact, and things non-transgender people take for granted: http://www.csulb.edu/colleges/chhs/safe-zone/privilege/.

We are holding a “Shambhala Queer Dharma” retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center from March 28-30 which will add the “Shambhala” aspect to the picture. There are two key themes that define Shambhala — that the nature of all humans is basically good, and when people relate to others and the environment from their inherent goodness, a good human society manifests. There are countless examples of good human relationships between people and communities that value kindness above individual self-interest. Sadly, we often doubt our basic goodness and self-worth. This results in a constant attempt to find happiness outside of ourselves as demonstrated by the tyranny of materialism ruling our lives.

Putting it all together — what is the inspiration for having a Shambhala Queer Dharma retreat?

Community
Queer people have to come to grips with who they are because of the obstacles they face in society. Whether one has achieved peace with that or not, it is good to be with others who respect and recognize your journey. There is comfort and deep relaxation in just knowing that. However, there is something more to these retreats than just the comfort of being with sympathetic people.

Meditation
By virtue of being queer and outside the societal norm with regard to sexuality, we are required to explore the dharma of ourselves to cut through confusion about who we are and not be afraid of that—probably more than those who have heterosexual privilege. The path of meditation is a natural way to accomplish this exploration of “who we really are” and come to certainty regarding our self-worth.

Social Innovation
My experience of doing queer dharma retreats is that people are generally well along the journey of this exploration, whether they are experienced with or new to official “dharma” and meditation. That affords the Shambhala queer dharma community a unique opportunity — to go the next step beyond the individual journey and explore what it means to be a good human community based on kindness. The courage that inspired our non-negotiable self-reflection can extend into reflecting on our relationships with others, and to be genuine about what prejudices and habitual patterns are barriers to kindness.

The aspiration is that the queer community can be an example to the greater society as humans who treat other humans well. The Shambhala Queer Dharma retreat at SMC can help us deepen both as individuals and also as a community. Chögyam Trungpa said “you bring your whole self to meditation” and that in Shambhala, your whole queer self is welcome and celebrated. In fact, this retreat is an opportunity to explore how we might share the gift of our queerness with others. The gift being that we can come to know, through meditative reflection, that we are basically good and have much to contribute to the creation of an enlightened society. At the very least, we can enjoy practicing and discussing the dharma of life, each other, and the spectacular environment of SMC.

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Be sure to check out two upcoming live interactive sessions with video and audio from Eve and Eric. If you have a webcam and mic you will be able to come online with video and audio as well. If you don’t have a/v equipment, you will be able to interact using text.

The sessions will be taking place on the following dates:

Sunday, January 26, 2 pm Mountain; 4 pm Eastern.
Sunday, March 16, 2 pm Mountain; 4 pm Eastern.

Here is the link for the sessions – get on early if you want to test your equipment:
http://shambhalainternational.adobeconnect.com/queer/

Acharya Eve Rosenthal will be leading Shambhala Queer Dharma Retreat, along with Acharya Eric Spiegel, March 28-30. To learn more, please CLICK HERE

An Invitation from Our Thanksgiving Hosts

Posted on October 21, 2013 by admin

Greetings friends,

We are so delighted to be spending Thanksgiving at beautiful Shambhala Mountain Center next month and we hope that many of you can join us. We’ll make ourselves into a community for these fews days, sharing a variety of human delights: meditation, yoga, the Stupa, the wonderful SMC fall weather, food, drink, music and family.

Our plan for the three days is simple: to create a warm and vibrant space where we can share good cheer, good food and good conversation with one another. Mornings will include children’s activities so parents can join in yoga and/or meditation practice sessions. Afternoons can be spent together (we’re planning a short guided hike up to the Great Stupa of Dharmakaya for a tour of its many wonders), or on your own, reading, wandering and resting. In the evenings we invite you to bring your favorite musical instrument–or simply your music appreciation–and relax with us by the lodge fireplace in song (and, if you’re so inspired, in the added glow of Chanukah lights).

Oh, and for Thanksgiving we’ll dine together in the late afternoon in Sacred Studies Hall, enjoying tasty servings of fowl, grains, greens, wine and sweets, provided by SMC’s gracious staff, and with some pitching in by the rest of us.

If this sounds good, join us…make it a plan!

Warm wishes,

Dan and Melanie

To register for just Thanksgiving Day, please click here.

To read more information about the extended weekend retreat and to register, click here.

Acharya Daniel Hessey

Acharya Daniel Hessey has been a student of Shambhala Buddhism since 1971 and has taught extensively throughout the U.S. and South America. Since 2004, he has studied the I Ching with Eva Wong, a Taoist Qigong lineage holder and translator of classical Chinese texts. Dan is a former director of Shambhala Mountain Center and now serves on its board of directors.

Melanie Klein

Melanie Klein has taught Shambhala programs and meditation since 2003, and served as Co-Director of the Los Angeles Shambhala Center. She is completing her Masters in Divinity at Naropa University.

Relationships that Work Beautifully

Posted on July 16, 2013 by admin

By Paul Shippee

Paul Shippee will lead a NVC weekend retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center September 13-15

The main positive effect of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) practice is to increase your chances of getting a compassionate response from others. I have found that NVC has an amazing result of disarming others as well as one’s own deeply embedded defenses that lead to painful conflicts. Usually, somewhere deep in our conditioned brain, we really think that our defenses are the best way to be safe. But, in NVC practice, we invariably discover that real safety comes from being vulnerable. This unearths a contagious authenticity that fosters relationships, both intimate and casual, that work beautifully.

Once we can open our heart to ourselves and honestly express what we are actually feeling and needing in the moment, we begin to glimpse new dimensions of life. We take baby steps in trying out vulnerability as a means of trust and smarter safety. This feels uncomfortable as it invites us into a larger world of undefended love and connection to others.

We are conditioned in our culture to speak from the head. The main learning in NVC is to direct your attention to what’s alive in you and become aware of feelings and needs as they arise in ourselves and others. We find that to develop compassion we must bring our attention more and more to the emotional body.

Even our most functional and fruitful relationships can be marked by judgment, criticism, and other self-limiting junk. When this happens, examine the link between pain and blame inside yourself. It’s simple but it ain’t easy. We are addicted to pleasure; habitually leaning into what feels good. By affecting another person whom we care about, we realize that this dedication to the pleasure-principle is totally irresponsible emotionally. So our escape is blame, and blame feels good because it lets us off the hook as we cleverly and conveniently move our attention to the other person. NVC seeks a softer approach to challenges and helps us to realize that a flow of brilliant communication, joy, and natural peace is always available.

We have a local NVC practice group which has been working with opening this heart space and here’s a sampling of what they have to say about their experience:

Aliyah Alexander: Despite 30 years of working as a psychotherapist and doing my own internal work, I am still challenged every time I utilize Marshall Rosenberg’s guidelines (the founder of NVC) of moving from righteousness (being right) to vulnerability (the heart). Through this practice, communication becomes a stepping-stone into the spiritual realm, which involves moving into a place of empathy with self and others.

Gussie Fauntleroy: One of the most important things I’m learning is how to listen as if everyone matters. A lot of it is learning to recognize and accept, and therefore transform, my own longstanding habitual patterns of communication and interaction and ways of seeing myself and others.

Larry Lechtenberg: I used to go around feeling quite lonely and deeply longing to connect with people, and trying to always discover the “right” thing to make this happen. Now, I think much less; instead I try to observe closely, with the intention of becoming aware of what I’m feeling and needing, and what the other person’s feelings and needs are. This usually produces an amazing feeling of connection.

Kirsten Schreiber: One aspect of NVC that I find myself especially appreciating lately involves being able to go into a space where I can express myself and then step back and listen or imagine what the other person might be experiencing. Having the inner space for that without reacting doesn’t necessarily solve something but it can help me broaden my vision and see a bigger picture.

Paul Shippee, MA Psychology, studied Nonviolent Communication (NVC) intensively with founder Marshall Rosenberg and other NVC trainers. He has facilitated NVC groups continuously for the past 8 years and teaches NVC workshops around the country. Paul Shippee will lead a NVC weekend retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center September 13-15

Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Couple

Posted on July 6, 2013 by admin

by Keith Kachtick
In Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke makes clear that a loving, romantic relationship is the practice for which all other mindfulness practices are the groundwork. “Love is high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become world for himself for another’s sake.” The ancient Tibetan tantric practice of Yab-Yum recognizes that romantic coupling is as an opportunity for profound spiritual awakening, a practice that invites us—deeply challenges us—to love our way to enlightenment.

Traditionally, in Buddhist thangkas and sculptures depicting Yab-Yum, the confluence of “masculine” compassion and “feminine” wisdom is presented metaphorically in the sexual union of a male deity, seated in Padmasana (lotus pose), with his female consort facing him on his lap. The symbolism is two-fold: Yab-Yum (literally “father-mother” in Tibetan) implies a mystical union within our own individual nature—the two Dharma wings that lift each of us to buddhahood; united, the two awakened beings (regardless of gender) then give birth to a romantic communion embodying the blissful, non-dual state of enlightenment.

Much easier said than done, of course. But for anyone in a committed relationship, the Yab-Yum ideal of unconditional love—borne out of opening our hearts and fine-tuning our communication skills, as well as deepening our understanding of our partner’s needs and desires—is an opportunity and wonderful challenge to recognize and celebrate the highest in ourselves and in each other.

Ultimately, it’s all about soulful harmonizing. “We know little, but that we must hold to what is difficult is a certainty that will not forsake us,” Rilke reminds us. “It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult. That something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it. To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. This more human love resembles that which we have prepared for with struggle and toil all our lives: a love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute one another.”

Keith Kachtick and his partner Camilla Figueroa will be teaching the retreat Loving Your Way to Enlightenment: Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Couple September 13-15

What I know to be true

Posted on May 31, 2013 by admin

By Sue Frederick

What I know to be true is this: Our pain is on purpose. Our joy is the gift. Our heart is all that matters. Our mind is a great monkey loose in the forest and running amuck; he must be tamed or our heart can’t be heard and our joy can’t be felt.

Our truth is inside – always. It’s the inner voice that only speaks loud enough when we turn within, tame the savage monkey mind, pull away from the surface, and surrender assumptions; when we dip a trembling hand into the deepest water that terrifies us most and help someone who is drowning right beside us.

Our truth only speaks up when we see the heartbreak in all of our journeys, the struggle in everyone’s life, the pain shared by each family member, the divine inner guidance that we mostly forget. This compassion is the fabric of our universe, and it guides us flawlessly through the night. This is all that matters. I will remember this now.

What I’m trying to say is that even when we don’t know it, when we feel completely alone, there are people who are part of our soul posse who show up in our hour of greatest need and help us in ways we may never know and never see. These soul mate agreements are always working in our favor even when we feel hopelessly abandoned, they’re standing where they should be standing and lending a hand in just the way that will save us.

And mostly it’s only at the end of our life or in brief glimpses of the divine that we fully see this luminous connection, this brilliant pattern, and know that it’s real and that we’ve always been held in grace. This final knowledge breaks us wide open in speechless, awestruck gratitude – even as we take our last gasping breath and our bodies disintegrate into a million shards of light.

Join Sue Frederick for Bridges to Heaven: A Grief Healing Retreat July 12th to 14th.

Why Partner Yoga?

Posted on April 26, 2013 by admin

By Elysabeth Williamson

Shambhala Mountain Center is delighted to offer a special partner yoga training with Elysabeth Williamson on May 29-June 3. Whether you’re a student or teacher of yoga, this five-day intensive is for all levels of practitioners interested in sharing a new form of yoga with others. Couples, friends and individuals are all welcome. Elysabeth is the developer and founder of Principle-Based Partner Yoga™, a powerful style she describes in her own words below.

Let me begin with a simple introduction of Partner Yoga for those of you unfamiliar with this practice. Partner Yoga is two or more people joining together to deepen the impact and experience of a Yoga practice. The primary component that differentiates partner practice from individual practice is touch. We touch and are touched by others. We use traction and leverage, and the kinesthetic awareness that comes from touch, to open to greater depths in our bodies and all the levels of our being.

As with any spiritual practice, there are many benefits we can receive from Partner Yoga. Along with a deepened self-awareness, profound openings in our postures, we also strengthen our ability to enter into and remain in relationships in ways that are authentic and joyful. Relationships are the area where we most directly experience the dualistic nature of existence, as well as our most extreme emotions. When our relationships are flowing, life takes on a glow and we perceive everything through the eyes of love. And when our relationships are strained, we can often experience painful emotions that can feel difficult and overwhelming.

We experience this duality most profoundly in our intimate relationships, but it is true in all our connections – with parents, children, siblings, friends, society, even with Nature and the Divine. The desire to experience loving, vital and healthy relationships is with us our entire lives. From birth to death, we are constantly learning about relating to others, although sadly in our culture, we are given few tools or models to guide us. Yet despite our lack of skill in this area of our lives, there remains a deep yearning in each of us to experience love and acceptance in all of our relationships, including the one with ourselves.

Partner Yoga practices help bring our relational patterns into balance. In our partner, we have a mirror, a physical presence, that brings us into the present moment and paradoxically, more fully into ourselves. This presence supports us to integrate our insights into the very cells of our being, not just as a mental concept, but as a fully embodied awareness. Just as in our relationships off the mat, in Partner Yoga we experience directly what it feels like to build trust, compassion and intimacy with others. Our partners reflect back to us the qualities that we express.

One of the foundational practices I introduce is Back to Back Sitting Meditation. The power and intimacy of this simple posture comes as quite a surprise to almost everyone who experiences it. Here are some general instructions for this practice:

Both partners sit in an easy crossed legged positions with sacrams firmly pressed together. Maintaining a strong sacral connection is the focus of this posture. To strengthen the sacral contact, both partners first lean forward, shift hips back until pelvic bones connect and then then return to an upright position. Draw the lower abdomen up and in to strengthen the sacral connection. Make sure you are not leaning against your partner, instead engage the natural curve of the lumbar spine to lift sternum. Allow shoulder blades to lightly graze your partner.

Direct the breath into the back body and allow the breath to release tension from the inner and outer body. Sense the distinction between awareness of yourself and awareness of your partner. Let go of all preconceived ideas concerning yourself and your partner and instead rest in the experience of your essential sameness. Notice the deepened self awareness through conscious contact with another. Rest and meditate in this position for as long as comfortable, being aware that you are not leaning on your partner.

For many of us, there is a belief that most endeavors (Yoga practice included) are simply easier to do on our own – we can avoid dealing with the needs and feelings of others. Partner Yoga practices unravels this belief and reveals the beauty of our interdependence. We see that when we take the risk to reveal our vulnerability in the presence of another, we are empowered to go much deeper with much less effort. This is also true in life. We can accomplish much more, with much more joy and ease when we willingly and joyfully support each other.

Partner Yoga is not a substitute for individual practice. It is a newly emerging visionary, healing art that teaches the fundamental value of joining and sharing with others. It demonstrates how we become more authentic and empowered through our willingness to open and connect with the world around us. I’d like to emphasize that Partner Yoga is NOT FOR LOVERS ONLY – it can be practiced by any two or more willing participants – friends, acquaintances, siblings, parents and children. Previous Yoga experience is not even required although it can be helpful for some of the more advanced practices.

The need for practices that open our hearts, heal our sense of separation and show us how we are all the same is more urgent than ever – and I am honored and deeply grateful for the opportunities to share this practice with others.

Click here to learn more about the upcoming Partner Yoga program May 29-June 3

Elysabeth Williamson is the founder of Principle-Based Partner Yoga™ and the author of ‘The Pleasures and Principles of Partner Yoga’. She also released a state-of-the-art iPhone app ‘Partner Yoga Touch’ both award winning projects. For more info: www.partneryoga.net

Shambhala Mountain Center in the City

Posted on April 23, 2013 by smc

As part of our mission to make ancient wisdom tradition teachings and body awareness practices as accessible as possible, this spring, Shambhala Mountain Center is offering a diverse array of classes in Denver, Boulder and Fort Collins.

These “SMC in the City” programs enable city-dwelling participants to engage in a short retreat experience, stretching mind and body. Programs will range from daytime and evening talks to one-day and weekend programs. These city programs stand alone and are also ideal preparations for Shambhala Mountain Center’s more in depth retreat atmosphere.

Bruce Tift, MA, LMFT, and a teacher at Naropa University, gave an SMC in the City evening talk earlier this month in Boulder on Relationship as a Path to Awakening. Over 100 people attended the talk held at the Boulder Shambhala Center.

In regards to the Boulder talk, Bruce Tift wrote, it “was an overview of one way to understand and work with the very difficult and provocative experience of intimate relationships.” He hopes that people came away with new ideas about how to take better care of themselves and how to help keep their hearts open to their partners.

Tift will also be teaching a longer “Relationship as a Path to Awakening” retreat this weekend, April 26-28 at Shambhala Mountain. “The April weekend will go into much more depth on the same subject,” Tift explained, “and will hopefully be more personal.” There will be a mix of theory with experiential understanding.

There is still space available, so visit our programs page to learn more about the class and sign up today.

And join us for another juicy talk with David Loy on the Karma of Money, Fame, and Sex in Denver, May 18th, 7pm at the Denver Shambhala Center.

For more upcoming SMC in the City programs click the links below:

SMC in the City: Boulder

SMC in the City: Denver

Understanding our Relationship to Money, Fame, and Sex

Posted on April 1, 2013 by admin

According to David Loy, growing up in our contemporary culture, there’s no escaping them. “The issue is only whether they affect us unconsciously, in which case we tend to become compulsive, or whether we understand what motivates us, which grants us some freedom and wisdom about them.”

David Loy is a prolific author, professor of Buddhist and comparative philosophy, and Zen teacher in the Sanbo Kyodan tradition of Japanese Zen Buddhism. David travels nationally and internationally speaking primarily on the encounter between Buddhism and modernity, offering great insight into how these teachings relate to our everyday lives.

We are so happy to have him join us at SMC this May 24–26 2013, for a weekend of: The Karma of Money, Fame and Sex, as well as his evening talk that will be held in Denver May 18th as part of the “Shambhala Mountain Center in The City” series. We were able to ask him a few questions about his upcoming events:

SMC: Why have you chosen this specific topic to teach?
DL: It’s important for Buddhist teachings to connect with what’s actually going on in our daily lives, especially the values and intentions that affect what we do. For changing the quality of our lives, understanding and directing our motivations is the most important thing of all.

SMC: How does our relationship with Money, Fame and Sex affect our lives?
DL: The sense that ‘something is wrong with me’ is the shadow that haunts our sense of being separate from others. But usually we don’t understand the source of that feeling, so we project it outward, and try to acquire external things that we hope will fill it up. But that doesn’t work, because those preoccupations are only symptoms of the real problem. You can never be famous enough if fame isn’t what you’re really seeking.

SMC: How does the feeling of lack affect us as a society?
DL: Our individual senses of lack also affects the values and preoccupations of our society, because we tend to respond in similar ways—after all, we are conditioned in similar ways. We learn from others how to fill up our sense of lack. So lack is not only where we get stuck personally, it also reveals where our society is stuck!

Click here for more information about the upcoming program at SMC May 24–26 2013: The Karma of Money, Fame and Sex
Click here for more information about the upcoming program in Denver May 18th 2013: The Karma of Money, Fame and Sex| Denver

How to Stay Open and Awake to Reality in all its Richness

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

At first, it’s a challenge just to sit with our minds. Even if we do come to enjoy relaxing with ourselves alone on the meditation cushion, bringing that confidence and equanimity into our daily lives and relationships is challenging because it is in our interactions with other people that we are most likely to close down. The experience of openness is our natural state, so why are we not open all the time?

Acharya Susan Chapman, author of The Five Keys to Mindful Communication and Greg Heffron, co-director of the Mudra Institute will teach the Green Light model of mindful communication at Shambhala Mountain Center, March 8th to the 10th. We had the opportunity to chat with Greg Heffron about this Mindful Communication workshop that they offer all over the U.S. and Canada, often to sell-out crowds.

Press play below to hear Greg on how to stay open and awake to reality in all its richness:

Also, Acharya Chapman and Greg Heffron will be at the Fort Collins Shambhala Cneter March 5th at 7:00 p.m. for a public talk and book signing: The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: The Power and Art of Gentle Conversation.

This post is part one of a three part series—stay tuned for the other parts of the interview coming up.