Floral Notes and Bardo: Doha Ha Ha Ha

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a daily feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of existing as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.

Bent out of–yet always, simultaneously–into
shape,
Kissed by whispering mountain dawn as if it were–which it is, always–
diamond-like infant, jeweled-eye child

Last night was the concluding class in a five week course working with the Shambhala teachings on contentment and meekness. The class was lead by Steve Seely, who is a very experienced teacher–having served as the Vidyadhara‘s personal attendant and later completed a three year retreat. He shared lots of potent anecdotes throughout the course. He is a treasure.

Alison co-lead the course. She breathes fire. That’s what I have to say about her teaching style, her style in general. It’s blazing.

We concluded the evening by enjoying sweets, chai, and sake together and spontaneously composing a doha–at the encouragement of Steve.

Here’s the thing:

It is so sweet to connect with my fellows, my friends, my family on this mountain, in the space of exploring the teachings, each other, and ourselves. That’s why we’re here. We work hard, and also, we get together and share the curious experience of simply being.

Here’s the doha:

The Tiger

Step, step, step. Will it ever end?
Does it matter?
Feasting on crumbs all the time,
Precious prowling and a sense of presence,
The paws pause and we enter meekly.

Rippling, rippling, rippling.
How haughty and naughty I am.
moving forward to I know not what.
It’s not important, the earth is always beneath me.
Fluid the fur, it glides over strength.
That’s not a line.

Hey, we’re content. It doesn’t matter if you write it down anyways.
Origami swan, tiger, and a cookie,
where else but Shambhala?
I don’t do this kind of thinking.
Walking on the paws of the earth, sky above,
with no delusion.
No, I’m good–basically.

~~~

Travis Newbill is a curious dude on the path of artistry, meditation, and social engagement who is very glad to be residing at Shambhala Mountain Center. His roles within the organization include Marketing Associate and Head Dekyong–a position of leadership within the community.

Floral Notes and Bardo: Surf’s Up, Mmm Hmm…

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Travis Newbill

At lunch:

Joshua: “You’re a surfer, riding a wave.”

Me: Surfing has always been one of my go-to metaphors.

Joshua: Surfing has always been one of my metaphors too.

Me: Did you surf in California?

Joshua: No I went surfing once in Long Island. I sat out there for hours waiting for a wave.
It was freezing. Finally a wave came and I was frozen stiff. It passed me right by.

At dinner:

Joshua: Did you get the flowers?

Me: Yep.

Joshua: You’re all ready then.

Me: Yep. One-hundred percent. No doubt. Like a surfer in Long Island waiting for a wave.

Lamp oblivious to what is being revealed as it simply
sits there, taking up space
obeying the commands of animate characters all around it
in an old wooden shack house,
not the Quadrapooper,
not Avalokiteshvara (my house)–
an imaginary shack
in the woods
where conversations occur between kerosene-burning lanterns
and a crazy man who is addicted to tea.
Perhaps “future me.”

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Howdy/Vanishing

Posted on January 5, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Snowflakes
vanish from palms
in a soft flash.

Thus have I heard:

Once, Trungpa Rinpoche asked William S. Burroughs:

“Why do you write?”

Burroughs:

“You’ve got to do something.”

Yesterday, as planned, I spent most of the day practicing meditation to give some room to the explosions occurring in my chest and brain–
Sparkle bombs.
Love bombs.
Confusion in confetti form and twinkles of smile-inspiration.

Lots happening these days.

Moments ago, at lunch, Z (my teacher) said:

“You look more excited than afraid. That’s a good sign.”

He also said:

“You’re a surfer.”

That’s true. I grew up surfing mediocre waves in Florida. Now I live at Shambhala Mountain Center. The waves here are not mediocre.

~~~

A couple of introductory notes (written in pencil on confetti):

I started a blog back in November after taking a writing program here at Shambhala Mountain Center with Bhanu Kapil–a Naropa professor who is clairvoyant and lovely in all sorts of ways. She encouraged me to do it as a way to express myself, practice writing, and share with people what must be a rather interesting experience–living here.

Here: If I may say so–as many others have throughout the decades–Shambhala Mountain is a powerful-sacred-organism. I find the experience of residing here–as a lil’ part of it–to be incredible, and I love telling stories about it.

Recently, Director Gayner (who is also lovely as well as regal, and so on) offered an idea:

He felt it would be cool for someone from our staff/community to write a daily bit about
what it’s like to live/work/exist here.

!!! !!! !!!

I gladly volunteered!

The opportunity to do this as a daily part of my adventure/life on the mountain has me giddy and grateful. I’m amazed and un-surprised. This is the latest in a series of doors to swing open–revealing perks, lessons, gifts; prickly, sparkly, blunt…

Anyway, this is not the first installment. This is the part of the concert where, a few songs in, the dude steps to the mic and says:

“Hi. It’s great to be here.”

Thanks for listening. More to come.

May this activity offer a glimpse into this magical living-situation (living situation).

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Slow-down Practice (Slow Down, Practice)

Posted on January 3, 2014 by Travis Newbill

So much happening these days–all days, always
in my mind, body, office, and in the general atmosphere. So many ideas about
the path forward–business-wise, community-wise, and
personally. I am feeling more and more
one
with this organization.

My sleep has not been so restful. Maybe too much tea
too late in the day. But also, for sure,
activated imagination. So much energy to process.
It’s challenging. I’m glad for it.
There is a lot to do. There is a lot of work to do.
The is a lot of art to do. There is a lot of caring to do.

–On this planet. In this day and age.

I’m learning how to do that.
There are teachers here who are helpful.
The whole life here–

here = SMC; but also, here = HERE

but, especially SMC (for me)

is a place to practice.

Practice meditation. Practice friendship.
Practice art. Practice work.
etc.

Because there are bombs going off in my chest and
brain these days, I will spend the entire day tomorrow
meditating in the Stupa.

One of my aspirations for 2014 is to sit a nyinthun on every Saturday
which follows a New Moon.

sit a nyinthun = meditate for a full day

Sitting meditation is the opposite of propagating sickness. Here is a sign which is posted on the Quadropooper:

This is the Quadropooper:

Bracing the old shack for a windstrom that’s been on the way since before
contruction began.
Before the trees were planted.
Long before lumberjack swung for pay–
greasy sausage

An entry from an encyclopedia
belted out operatically to illustrate
the continuity of knowledge and feel,
words and intuition,
art and work,
speech, song, hearing, and growth.

Passed on from elderly–a verse about the future,
the restaurants are nervous to serve meat,
the folks who sat at the booth are concerned that their coffee may spill on their
laps because they no longer trust their bodies.
Jimmy Dean on a chipped porcelain plate is wet with grease
after the meal the original prophetic-neurotic-author saw himself
in the puddle of lardy-juice,
laughed,
and said “Oh lardy!”

~~~

Travis Newbill is a curious dude on the path of artistry, meditation, and social engagement who is very glad to be residing at Shambhala Mountain. His roles within the organization include Marketing Associate and Head Dekyong–a position of leadership within the community.

Floral Notes and Bardo: Furry Creatures–Awake

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Guitar around the corner translating confusion
–mental jukebox–
who keeps pumping those quarters in?

I woke up at 4–a bit too early but better than 6:30 so I can sing before breakfast, before
meditation. I arrived in the shrine room a minute late and saw that noone had made offerings to the shrine. I was hoping someone else would do that today.

I turned around and my pal walked in the door with a full water pitcher and I believed I may get a break.

I sat down on the cushion a bit grumpy about having to serve as umdze for the fifth day in a row. I
knew it was absurd to be grumpy–sitting in a shrine room, meanwhile war-torn Sudan, etc.

Umdze = person who–lights the shrine, rings the bell, leads chants, and keeps an eye on the time.

Mid-way through the session Avajra John entered the room. Hadn’t seen him since he left for the holidays…a week ago? A week here can feel like a month, and a day can feel like a minute.

I love Kooky Crazy Sexy (he asked to be called that) Uncle John. I felt the shrine room giggles rising.
I had to take some breaths to cool out.

Later, I glanced up–
when you are umdze, you face everyone else in the room–
I saw a friend grinning. I grinned. The contagious awake-grin.

Are all of us furry creatures awake? Fully awake already? Simply awake and profoundly forgetful?

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Not new

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Breath over ridges under a river–
out of my mind
into my bones
a breaking guitar string in slow motion
on display

The first day of the year seems like a good time to start something new. This blog is not new,
but this is a new phase.

I accidentally started it yesterday–on the last day of last year.

Today is Wednesday, which is the day of the week that I’ve been planning on not writing because we have community meetings on Wednesdays.

All the other days in the week we have a nice, long community meditation session in the morning. I like to meditate
as much as possible before I write. This morning, only a short session, and so a sense of clumsy articulation. Okay.

Today in the community meeting, Director Gayner gave an amazing presentation about the land, and SMC. The part about the Feng Shui of the land was particularly amazing. Amazing. We are part of something way bigger than any one of us. There is tremendous energy moving here. I knew that already. I want to learn more, so that I can say more, and so that I can be more deeply connected with this organism–Shambhala Mountain Center.

After the meeting, Steve Seely, one of the senior teachers on the land, said something about how he feels that he is part of something historic–that this thing is huge.

I feel that too.

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Nothing Is Safe to Say/Not Afraid to Be a Fool

Posted on December 31, 2013 by Travis Newbill

Nothing is safe to say
unless you know every echo and utterance
in all of space.

Anyway…

The joust between altruism and fame-seeking is going to
result in a bouquet
of laughter

Onlookers liberated by witnessing boogie-beyond-embarrassment.
That’s the virtuous clown. The offering of the artist.

NOT AFRAID TO BE A FOOL

Tonight I will take my one-year Kasung oath. The Dorje Kasung
is military as imagined by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

Dorje Kasung = Indestructible Command Protector

From the outside, the Dorje Kasung are among the weirdest components to the
Shambhala tradition. Visitors to the land are often quite bewildered. I think that
may be part of the point.

What is your reaction to people in uniform?
What are your feelings about being in uniform? Maybe all of that ought to be explored… Etc.

I knew I would be going into the Dorje Kasung as soon as I first encountered it last summer–because I had such an immediate and strong aversion to doing so.

This shall be an adventure within an adventure within…

Often, I’ve heard Rusung Edwards (Rusung = Head of Kasung on the land) explain Dorje Kasung
to visitors in this way:

“Buddhist Park Rangers”

I love that.

I’ve not yet felt the desire for a less-weird life. Thus, tonight I shall formally
join the Dorje Kasung!

~~~