Floral Notes and Bardo: All Textures, Musical

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a daily feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of existing as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.

Jump–out of my body
Be–in my body
Shuffle
Grasp, oh, leggo
Pop, shine into a room
Crystal-air fingers sweeping across body–floor, air
waiting for nothing, all textures holy

Storytelling, all the time.

The story of my weekend:

Friday evening–long journey through the snow to Elkhorn house, jamming and arts and crafts. A fun scene. Beautiful free-music and glitter all over the place culminating in a multi-person hula hoop molecule moving to the sounds of ragtime piano music (funky old out of tune piano at Elkhorn house).

Slumber party in Heather’s room. In the morning, Dorje Kasung color-guard, hoisting the flags. We stood in our pajamas and saluted out the window, joined them in singing the anthem, then:

“As you were!”

Back into bed giggling.

Chores at the Stupa, deep cleaning. Felt great. Some practice afterwards. Later group haiku valentine creation–lots of tea, chocolate and laughs in the Shambhala Lodge lounge–such a nice space. VIP.

After dinner ROTA with Heather, I was a bit antsy to finish the shift, leaving some pans dirty, getting out of there on time. She good-influenced me to relax and enjoy the shift.

Buddhism 101: There is no better place to be.

Thich Nhat Hanh: “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes.” (which is posted on the wall of our dish room)

While we scrubbed, the Monarch Retreat (intense retreat for Shambhala leadership) were having their closing banquet. Being in the right place at the right time (in the dish room beside the kitchen immediately after banquet prep) we tasted some amazing food while we washed dishes. The best stuffed portobello I’ve ever had and then some ridiculous gourmet desserts made by Matt Crow and Adam.

Adam is a really fun musician to jam with–a fiddle player. He was in the mix on Friday night, along with Cait, who is really into crafts, as Heather is. It all fit together nicely.

Anyway, ROTA was a good time. We stayed twice as long as we were scheduled to and sang lots of wholesome American and Gospel songs. It turned out being a really fun date and good practice.

Trungpa Rinpoche said that the point is to feel good all over the place (can’t find the source, maybe not exact quote…)

…Rather than waiting for the elusive “good parts.”

I felt so fond of Heather for having such a genuinely good attitude about washing dishes. So much so that it was contagious and doing chores became a fun activity. That’s magic. That’s bodhisattva stuff.

Sunday morning I wrote a song about it. It was the first time I’ve sat down and wrote a song in months. Heather aspires to help me sing more. She’s doing a good job of that, just by being how she is. We have fun singing together, and she inspires me to sing while I’m in my own space. I’m glad about that.

This morning Tara and I were talking about relationships while walking from breakfast over to meditation. We crossed paths with Heather. I told her how my relationship with Heather has tremendous “path” quality. How after several years of avoiding exclusive, intimate relationships, I feel so inclined to engage.

It is said that by the virtue of all the great masters who have visited here and all the practice, rituals, and blessings that have occurred, that this land is “well processed”–which means that peoples’ minds and hearts are quite available here. That doesn’t make things easier, necessarily, but potent and workable. I see that. My mental and emotional world seems to be more tangible, visible, here. I can see my mind unfolding almost in slow motion. I feel like Neo in the Matrix.

It’s a rich experience–this lil’ love thing. It’s only in the beginning, so… I sense a lot of twists and turns ahead. Sparkles and tumbles. Bruised knees, ice cream cones, and cradling.

Tara brought up the question of losing one’s individuality. I think that’s an interesting point. The play between individuality and being connected to something larger. I feel that dynamic, or tension. I feel it in relating to Heather, and also in relating to the community, the SMC organization, and the world.

I feel a sense of surrendering my territory. I feel that whatever danger there is of losing my perspective… I feel that my practice and devotion to the path will protect me against that.

Devotion to the path, for me, means that everything is path. Acharya Hessey told me:

“Practice and enjoy. Those two things.”

What is there to be afraid of? Death?

~~~

Travis Newbill is a curious dude on the path of artistry, meditation, and social engagement who is very glad to be residing at Shambhala Mountain Center. His roles within the organization include Marketing Associate and Head Dekyong–a position of leadership within the community.

Floral Notes and Bardo: Playful Culture

Posted on February 17, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Last night was the first in a series of classes on Shambhala Culture and Decorum. Various experienced teachers will be leading these classes for us, the community. The question is: What is enlightened culture and how may we manifest that together here at Shambhala Mountain Center?

The first question posed last night was: What is culture?

The class included an engaging discussion around these questions and a hilarious and educational group exercise in which we wrapped gifts for Greg Smith. The point of the exercise was to explore the difference between a speedy, accomplishment-oriented approach to living and a more organic, appreciative one. Many of us felt that our broader national culture is based on the former, which is very masculine, and that we are interested in creating a more feminine, playful, caring culture at SMC and throughout the wider world.

~~~

I say: We’re always creating culture and culture is always creating us.

~~~

Melanie Klien was leading the course. She suggested that we look at culture in terms of body, speech, and mind (very Buddhist). If a rock is body, then a house made of rocks is speech. If a tree is body, than a toothpick is speech. Culture is speech. It’s an expression, communication. Something made out of pre-existing form which can be experienced. Maybe experienced by more than one of us people-bodies at the same time.

Melanie says: Meditation is culture, enlightenment is not.

Cultures have norms. So, we want… I want… a culture of friendliness, kindness, playfulness, creativity… Good stuff.

Anyway…

After the class, a bizarre conversation about My Little Pony–I didn’t have much to contribute besides my bewilderment. Jason and Heather are both crazy about this cartoon. It was high energy cheer-weirdness.

Afterwards, Heather and I standing in the hallway feeling weird. She grinned. I turned around and down the hallway Jason was sitting in a chair staring at us. We all immediately clicked into some group performance art mode and began taking strange postures, making strange gestures. The stranger the better. The stranger the stranger.

Upside down, tickling, stuffed pony entered the scene, in and out of doorways, rolling on the floor. Over the course of the performance/play various people came through and contributed. It felt so weird and great!

At the end, I was on my back. Jason jumped in and out of his room. He appeared above me dancing with some sort of chakra tuning device. It vibrates at the frequency of OM. he tuned me up real nice and we all hugged and ended the session.

One big point that came up in the discussion in class is Trungpa Rinpoche’s idea of “combining survival and celebration.” Some of us feel that there could be more celebration here. Surviving is a task–we live in a pretty rugged situation. But, what a joyous situation! And so we’d like to play more, cheer more, enjoy more together.

This hallway bizarreness was a nice bit of spontaneous celebration. We occupied the public space of the hallway in the name of play. Good.

This is the stuff of creating culture.

I brought my guitar into bed with Heather and sang a bit: a Bob Marley tune, in honor of his birthday, and a Phish tune, in honor of…I love Phish. Finally, in an act of combining survival and celebration, last night included cold-weather-cuddling and enough sleep (a notable achievement, somehow). Good!

–February 7, 2014

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Building the Plane as We Fly/One Love!

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Ital food!!! Awwww, yea! (In celebration of Bob Marley’s birthday). What an amazing surprise at lunch today. Few substances on the planet lively up myself like Ital food. Irie!

In other news:

Most of the SMC leadership people (upper tier of the hierarchy) are in an intense retreat this week: Monarch Retreat. It’s secret sort of stuff. I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I feel confident that it is good stuff. I’m glad they are all in there. It’ll be good for everyone for those folks to be even more tapped-into their wisdom-ruler-mojo.

Meanwhile, I lead the weekly community meeting yesterday. It didn’t go as planned. It turned into a group check-in–everyone had a turn to share from the heart. It was great, except that I didn’t set it up right. From time to time we do something called Council Practice. That’s kinda what this meeting turned into, almost accidentally, except it was missing some key components–mainly the set-up.

In Council Practice, a sacred space is created and everyone participating agrees to treat the space that way. No one responds to what other people say, everything that is shared is confidential, and nothing leaves the space. You can’t follow-up with someone afterwards. A talking-stick of some sort is passed around the circle and everyone has a turn to share. The emphasis is on deep listening. We go around three times.

Yesterday, we all shared intimately, but without the sacred set-up, though I did begin with a contemplation on deep listening. Anyway, in the meeting and afterwards, because I didn’t create a good container (I believe) there were some emotional flare-ups. Some people got hurt. It was kind of a karmic oops on my part. Mostly though, people seemed to benefit. So, it may have been close to neutral.

Many of us feel now that there needs to be more gatherings like that. Something I feel inspired to work on as Head Dekyong is cultivating more warmth and togetherness in the community. Some folks are reporting feeling isolated, and not much community-togetherness these days. Maybe it’s part of the winter-blue season.

We all see each other a lot. At least everyday at meals, and throughout the day all over the place. Yet, we can feel so distant from one another.

This is the stuff. This is the real experience/experiment. How to cultivate a culture of kindness? Of empathy and friendliness? I’m right here in the thick of an experiment. I’m so glad for that! We’re all here. How can we set things up so that it works? This is training ground. This is the petri dish. We have to be able to get it right here if we (humanity) are to have any hope of doing it on a larger scale.

We have to figure out how to exist together, and sustain ourselves in various ways. We’ve got to pay the bills and we’ve got to enjoy life also. We need to achieve financial and emotional well-being. We need to balance work, community, and personal lives. How to do it?

The Shambhala Teachings say a lot about this. So, we have some guidance. Still, it is so experimental. There is no recipe to follow. It is often said here: “We are building the plane as we fly.”

How great is that?!

–February 6

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SMC to Host Young Sangha Retreat

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Travis Newbill

By Duncan McNaught

It’s great to take time to sit and reflect in an environment that helps us uplift ourselves; to refresh by connecting with what’s important in our lives – inspiration and heart.

Young sangha members have been meeting for retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center for a number of years now, with generous pricing offered by SMC to assist those of us who often don’t have much money for retreat.

The foundation of this retreat will be to practice meditation in an “intensive” way together and to support each other in this practice. In addition, we’ll include activities such as a visit to the Kami Shrine and the Great Stupa. Depending on the skills and inclination of the attendees, we may also include Kasung drill practice, yoga, and other mindfulness-awareness practices. We’ll be living as a close community for the retreat, and we’ll plan our activities so as to include everyone.

Photo by Karen O’Hern

Here’s a brief outline of what we’ll be doing:

Friday afternoon and evening will be spent settling in. There will be an orientation and greeting after dinner.
Saturday morning we’ll meet to discuss our schedule and aspirations for the retreat.
Sunday evening we will have a celebration to formally close the retreat together.
Monday morning we are welcome to continue to use our shrine room, go up to the Stupa to practice, or hike.

You can stay for two nights (14th & 15th) for $120 or three nights (14-17th) for $180. This price includes dormitory accommodation and all meals.

To register or find out more please contact Duncan McNaught at youngsanghaboulder@gmail.com or 720-240-6575.

Floral Notes and Bardo: Stew in Space, and…How to Rule?

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Clapping muscles. Fangs into popsicle–shock like a bell, breastbone. Dirt in mid air–my dirt, your dirt, our dirt. Tears, mud. How else would we know this stuff but to care enough to tumble together?

~~~

President Reoch leading a fireside chat.

Everything that happens here, happens in a big way. Little things happen in big ways. It can be like throwing a dart at a barn, or being bit by a pterodactyl (rather than a mosquito).

Last weekend, President Reoch lead The Six Ways of Ruling. Amazing teacher, amazing teachings on leadership from the Shambhala tradition. To begin with–leading one’s life. My life is like a stew and I don’t feel like I’m holding the bowl or spoon. I may be the steam rising off the top, or a slice of potato. It’s a rich stew–dharma practice, romance, work, and a legitimate position of leadership within our little society.

I am trying to organize all of this stew-stuff so that it can all reside in the bowl nicely. I want folks to be able to dunk a spoon in and delight in it. What am I talking about?

I’m talking about a super rich and full life and feeling a bit off balance and not in control. It’s all good stuff. But it’s a LOT of good stuff. And I’m afraid that my neighbor’s knee is going to bump the table and hot stew is going to scold my crotch.

“Be grateful to everyone.”

Dharma–saving grace.

If my neighbor does so, I will (try to) blame myself and be thankful for the way the lava-like-stuff of my life becomes impossible to ignore, thus rousing me from my comfortable slumber.

My uncle, The Captain, says “If you ever get your shit together, you’ll then have a big pile
of shit.”

Steamy.

Trungpa Rinpoche says:

“Groundlessness is your protection.”

It’s difficult to keep track of all that is splashing around. Maybe trying to do so is the root of insanity. Stew is chaotic. Stew is good. Stew is nutritious.

I’m feeling bewildered and I trust what is happening. Versions of myself are being gobbled up by gentle breezes which I am referring to as gale force winds.

–February 4, 2014

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Contemplative Super Bowl Party/Groundhog Day

Posted on February 10, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Brighter still, the glow. In the hallway, we were strangers, now your freckles are almost unbearable.

~~~

Before celebrating friendship via Super Bowl party I celebrated Groundhog Day with Heather. It’s an important holiday for her. We had a nice morning walk around the land, to the Stupa. Maple the prairie dog saw her shadow.

Delicious Colorado beer and all sorts of lovely conversation–dharmic, about being an artist, relationship stuff, society stuff. Friendly talk on all sorts of topics, the game was on in the background. Focusing on the television felt unnatural. It was difficult to do–I’m way out of practice. There were warm bodies in the room, there was no center of attention–especially not the TV. The beer was delicious. The conversation was heartfelt, so enjoyable. Great laughs, and I tried to explain the connection between Phish (my favorite artistic entity) and the Seattle Seahawks, while the Seahawks beat the poo out of our hometown team. I was rooting both for Payton Manning, who was the clear candidate for storybook hero event, but also rooting for Phish. Not so much the Seahawks, but I’m always rooting for Phish.

The Super Bowl party was held at a big house just off the land called Hayagreeva.

Here’s a line that came up in conversation:

“We shit in clean drinking water.”

–February 2

~~~

Floral Notes and Bardo: Love is a BOOM

Posted on February 7, 2014 by Travis Newbill

A thousand things we can’t see, in our tea-cup, and yet our
reflection on the surface–warm, cooling, gone.

Mr. Cushman sent out a homework assignment for Joy class—

Question 1. Contrast “awakened heart” and “love”

On my way up to the Stupa yesterday afternoon to do chores, I let the question bounce around and eventually said to myself:

Love is a more complete exhalation
Awakened heart is a spark, love is a fire
Awakened heart is a pop, love is a BOOM
Awakened heart is a nod, love is surrender

~~~

I have felt myself become a bit slack in my Dekyong duty recently. This weekend I’m participating in a program called The Six Ways of Ruling, which will be lead by Richard Reoch, the President of Shambhala. I had the honor of interviewing him about the teachings recently. The program will present Shambhala teachings on leadership, which were only transmitted in secret until fairly recently. I feel like this may give the Dekyong-Me a needed shot in the arm.

This morning I was photographing a snow-covered tree stump, I sensed and heard a person pass by behind me. I sensed that it was President Reoch. It was. His presence is so warm, inspiring, genuine. I’m really looking forward to the teachings, and the whole weekend.

–January 31

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Floral Notes and Bardo: Things I Like, Yum

Posted on February 6, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Funky rhythm, sweet peaks. I can taste her all the time. Groggy, high, and love-struck lately.

Heather tasting the snow:

In other news:

The other night at dinner…it was Erik’s birthday. We didn’t have a cake or candles for him, so we kept suggesting that he make a wish before blowing our minds. Erik is a mind-blowing sort of guy–super sharp intellect and full of amazing facts and figures. Most importantly, though, he gets a huge kick out of the whole thing. His smile is blinding. He’s fascinated by reality. He wants to know about everything.

He requested that we not sing the traditional birthday song for him, but instead, sing the Shambhala birthday song. He likes that one.

“We wish you a cheerful birthday!
A joyous and cheerful birthday!
To our friend _________
We wish you a long, long, life!”

Unfortunately, none of us at the table could remember the tune on Erik’s birthday–It was a wake up call for us. Now, Heather has initiated a Birthday Committee, which will ensure that people’s birthdays are celebrated in a wonderful way according to their wishes.

Here is a meme featuring Erik:

Yesterday we passed out surveys, asking people how they would like their birthdays to be celebrated. The first section of the survey was:

“What are three things that you like?”

I’m tempted to share some of the odder responses to the prompt, but taken out of the context of this adorable mountain community, they may not be as hilarious or even seem okay. Anyway…

Here are three of my favorite things:

1. Phish
2. Bubbles
3. Mangoes

–January 30

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Floral Notes and Bardo: A Crazy Thing I Made

Posted on February 5, 2014 by Travis Newbill

Ghost-pepper sneeze of truth, came out a like a face-fart aspiring to be a sonnet. If you love me, you’ll understand. If you love me, you must be able to accomodate these types of things. If we’re going to really be friends, you must forgive farts of all sorts and be unafraid to cry if pepper dust from my stupid-sneeze hits you in the eye. I’m sorry. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. A formula for friendship?

~~~

This is Avajra John posing with a crazy thing I made for him.

The other night an impromptu gathering in Heather’s room–craft jam. I made a crazy thing for Avajra John, Heather made New Year’s cards for her Vietnameese friends, and Dorian worked on a figure drawing. I’ve been up past my bedtime so much recently. I’ve not been singing in the morning the last couple of weeks–I miss that and need to start it back up. I’ve been tired in my days. Yesterday I did a live video-interview with a wonderful mindfulness teacher, Shastri Janet Solyntjes. I was so sleepy that I was concerned that my brain would go numb and our conversation would poo-out. But, it went well. I think that she skillfully transmuted my sleepiness into wakefulness. Good teacher. Later, in lojong class, I didn’t have any questions for teacher–which is a rare thing. Usually I have too many.

I try to be careful but open with my speech. It sucks to say stupid things. Here is a lojong slogan which is helping me handle the psychological aftermath of having said something stupid:

“When the world is filled with evil, Transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi.”

Basically swapping “Oh shit” with “Okay”–viewing the whole thing as a learning process. That’s my interpretation and application, anyway.

~~~

It’s about time to step up my Dekyong game. It’s fallen off a bit recently along with the singing. I’m glad to report that the meditation practice is as consistent as ever. That’s the most crucial thing.

–January 29

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Floral Notes and Bardo: Sunday Stuff, Nice

Posted on February 3, 2014 by Travis Newbill

What is there to devour? My expectations?

Soft snow falling out the window. It’s going to pile up. We’re going to make snow beasts. We talked about it yesterday and wished for the materials. Snow, snow, snow…

Some stuff on a Sunday:

Morning meditation, wrote a bit and then my dishwashing shift, contemplating lojong slogans while scrubbing pots and pans. Afterwards, kernels klanging against a metal pot, fun music–friendly cooks helped me make popcorn. I dusted it with nooch (nutritional yeast, yum). Plans to watch a movie later.

Heather and I had lunch together, called our moms on the phone… During a lull in conversation with my mom, I heard her ask her mom:

“Have you smelled anything interesting recently?”

We did laundry and cleaned our rooms. Laundry was adventurous–I won’t say why. I will say that it was fun watching our clothes tumble around.

After our chores were completed we sat on a bench. The sky became pastel magic. We got up and walked around, stopped in the middle of a snowy meadow, layed down and watched the rest of the sunset. Then, hiked up a hill and snuggled into a rock-boulder-sofa-nook together and gazed out over the valley. Heavy purple clouds. The occasional voice-echo from somewhere. Mostly…stillness. Gently swaying pine tree beside us. Clumps of pine trees scattered. Rock formations all around. The Stupa to the south. Stillness. How did we get here?

Before it got too dark we climbed back down the rocks, held mitten hands walking back across the meadow, across the land. Just in time for dinner–Amazing restaurant quality Italian meal, warm bread, fancy olives and all. We sat at a corner table. It felt like a booth.

She said: “Some standards can be observed even on top of a mountain”

After dinner we grabbed the popcorn and some other goodies which I had stashed and walked across the icey land again to the little Elkhorn House–which is our community hangout space. It has a big screen TV, games, a piano, a great sound system, and sofas. This stuff was generously donated as gifts to the staff.

We made pepermint tea, cuddled up on a sofa beneath a tie-dye blanket and watched a bizarre movie. We didn’t budge when the film ended and so the DVD looped and the movie started again. We peeled ourselves up about half way through, bundled in our coats and boots, and stepped outside. Snow. We walked across the land again–her flashlight pointed down at the ground and mine up, illuminating the snow flurries (warp speed, star-travel). Finally arriving to our clean, cozy lodge rooms. Goodnight.

It’s still snowing. This morning I hit her with a snowball. She picked it up and threw it back at me. Then we looked at the pretty snowflakes landing on the sleeves of our jackets.

–January 27

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